Goodbye. Welcome.
I’ve been on an incredible journey.
Life and the mechanics of living it have taken an unanticipated turn. A friend who has quietly observed my evolution once (maybe twice or even three times) remarked that I’m in my “spiritual era.” That comment was met with vehement denial from me. It wasn’t until recently that I finally realized that my iron-clad denial was hardly about my friend; it was me going to war with me.
What cool person wants to admit that they now live a life that’s widely regarded as “uncool”, “too much”, or “chasing shadows”? They ask who I’ve become even when I know full well that I’ve yet to become, that I may never become. So, I babble! I don’t know how to express that this “uncool” is my very journey and simultaneously, my goal. There’s a starting line but there’s no finish; a journey of everlasting endurance where I’m tasked to keep going, to keep keeping on.
This journey.
Of its many parts is the bifurcation of my being. The one where my body gives in to the pressures of the world around me and responds by making continuous attempts to quit while my spirit pushes on. She - my body - is the one who’s super cool, so this “uncool” thing is foreign and wildly uncharacteristic (I mean why do we own a tambourine?). She wants to know why, what, and more importantly, where.
On the other hand is my spirit who continues to go. The one whom I’ve been recently introduced to, the one whom I’ve under-engaged up until now, the one who takes a latent and patient position in my being waiting for this very time in my life where I’d finally be awakened to her existence. My spirit. The one who’s tethered to an everlasting source because “God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are…” Romans 8:16 MSG.
This wild ride.
Where a latest unfolding reveals that it’s okay to let go of my body because she may never embrace this journey. That I may never be able to feed her curiosity on why, what, and more importantly, where. That I should not need to mourn the letting go of this body because my completeness is fulfilled by Christ in me, not… this body. So, I will have to shed, lay off, and let go.
As I journey on, I will sometimes find words to express parts of my new life. Every new day on my journey is a revelation that births stories. Some I will openly and even gladly share; others will be best kept private. However you connect with me and my journey, I hope you find light to get you through yours as well.
My anchor: “This is the assigned moment for him to move into the center, while I slip off to the sidelines.” John 3:30 MSG
Song recommendation: Let Praises Rise by Myron Butler & Levi